


Amnesia

by itsaconquestofimagination



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Amnesia, Confusion, Injury Recovery, Kylo Ren Backstory, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Memory Loss, Other, POV Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 12:34:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8328082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsaconquestofimagination/pseuds/itsaconquestofimagination
Summary: Kylo goes on a dangerous intel mission months after his battle with Rey only to end up in a severe crash. Though he’s luckily saved in time from the wreckage, he has damage they can’t quite repair. Loss of memory.





	

Blinding white lights glared in his face. Consuming his vision entirely, it was as if there was nothing but the white light. It was a lot like what he had heard described people saw when they were passing over. A bright all encompassing light that led you to the other side and warmly welcomed souls ascending. The agonizing aching muscles and burning deep in his skin however, reminded him he was in fact alive. Maybe brinking on death, but still very much in this world and very much in pulsing pain. There wasn’t any distinct memory of how he had ended up here, only the physical feeling that something had beaten the hell out of him somehow. The only thing he was sure of now was that he was in a medical ward, from the smell of disinfectant and faint beeping of heart monitors. The slight feeling of a pinch in his skin also notified him that he had needles of some kind in his arms. As the heart monitor released soft beeps, one after the other, he felt relief wash through him. He was not afraid to die, but at the same time he was not ready to go at such a young age. There was still so much to do, so much to reflect, to learn, to achieve. Each beep from the monitor confirmed he still had at least some time. His vision finally became clearer and objects in his sights more defined as he looked to the ceiling, seeing the slick lines made up from multiple panels of metal. 

“M…mmmh.”

Hearing his incoherent noises one of the Knights of Ren stood at attention. Seeing the fluttering of the masters lashes, the wave of black clothing moved to the small bed eagerly.

“He’s waking up!”

Suddenly he heard a collection of heavy footsteps approaching him, different volumes of thudding against the metal floor. As his eyes finally pushed open he just barely tilted his head to each side of his pillow to take in the several people garbed in black around him. Mentally he was pondering if he should see these individuals as threats, seeing as nothing about their presence was familiar or welcoming. They all held stiff posture and were dressed as though they were going to a medieval battle. His brows furrowed slightly.

“W…where’s…my family?”

Furrowing his brows he took note of his voice. Was his voice that deep last time he remembered being awake? He was positive it wasn’t. Was it the medications and accident that had caused this sudden drop? Or had he been out for that long? Was that even medically possible? He would likely be put to rest if he was in a coma for that long.The knights all looked to each other then back to him. Unsure of where this was going they decided to go with the first sensible answer they could muster up. 

“Master Ren, we are your family.”

His eyes narrowed, brows staying furrowed as he looked them over suspiciously. These people were surely not his family. His family wasn’t nearly as dark and intimidating in appearance. The energy he felt in the room was likely anyone but family or familiar friends as he couldn’t sense any positive bonds to these individuals. He could hear their praise of him and their current confusion echoing through their psyche’s, but all of their talk of a Kylo Ren only perplexed him. The name seemed familiar, but again, there was no resounding memory of where it would have possibly come from. The sound the name made seemed familiar, but the actual name was foreign. Did they mistake his name with someone else’s? 

“Wh…who’s Ren? …I mean my…my mother…my father.”

The knights all stared at him in subdued shock. A subtle but blunt wave of energy that Kylo could pick up on as he saw the masked and exposed faces all regard each other. They were sure even in his hazey state he would sense their reactions through the force. How drugged up was their master that he couldn’t recall his own title at this moment? His own name which he was gifted and approved? The name almost the entire galaxy feared?

“Master Ren, would you prefer we let your comatose state pass before we speak to you?”

He furrowed his brows again as he looked them all over again. Though it was close to his name, this title they were giving him was odd and unfamiliar.

“My…my name’s Ben. ..W..with a B.”

Of course they knew of their master’s unspoken past, but in this moment it was evident he was not in the right head space. He couldn’t possibly actually think in a proper state of mind that he wasn’t Kylo Ren.   
On his end however, this was all growing more odd the further he came out of the haze. Who were these people? Why did they keep mispronouncing his name? It’s not like it was difficult. Why would they ever possibly consider themselves his family? Nobody at the Resistance looked nearly anything like them. If they had, he would have remembered…wouldn’t he?

“Where am I?”

“A medical ward on Coruscant.”

He shifted his head a little further to the side to look around the room. It was almost all white, with the exception of the black screens of machines and these strange dark figures in front of him. He was more than positive he had never seen them before, there was nothing about their appearance that tugged at the back of his mind. None of their voices sounded remotely familiar. At this point he was also positive no names would ring a bell for him either. If they had been that memorable he would have recalled them with far more ease. What was pulling at his mind however was the whereabouts of his parents. Why weren’t they close by? In fact why was he on Coruscant? He hadn’t been to that planet in ages. His training as a padawan didn’t allow him anytime to visit anywhere other than his home. He couldn’t have possibly been there whenever this accident happened…had he? 

“Wh..why am I on…C…Coruscant?”

“M-…you were in a fatal crash. Your TIE fighter spun out and crashed straight into a cliffside. Luckily your ship sent out a distress signal, so we could track you. We had to pull you from the wreckage.”

His brows furrowed again, a TIE fighter? Were these people just messing with him? Why would he ever be in a vehicle used by the Dark side? The Resistance had no such ship, and his parents wouldn’t let him be caught dead in one due to their dedication and deep ties to the success of the Light and Republic. 

“A TIE fighter? …Why was I in a TIE fighter?”

“Your command shuttle was unavailable due to repairs.”

“C..command shuttle? …You mean the Falcon?”

The Knights anxiety was finally starting to peak as the words fell out of their masters mouth. He was concious enough to form sentences, the droids had assured he would not be hazily altered in his reality for long, yet he seemed to forget so many things that were basic knowledge. If he was supposed to be in the right state of mind, how would he possibly forget everything about more than a decade of his life? How was that possible for a man of such power in the force?

“No…sir…your command shuttle. You insisted you had to go on this mission with or without it, for Supreme Leader Snoke.”

That name brought a slight feeling of unease over Kylo. Goosebumps raised over his skin, as if a breeze carried through the room. He wasn’t sure why, but the name itself felt as if a shadow was lurking not too far behind, watching his every move. A haunting sort of sound. Something about it was disturbing to his psyche, in a way he couldn’t understand.

“S-…snoke?”

The Knights all nodded in unison. Though they themselves did not answer to Snoke specifically, they drew great inspiration from him most of the time. Their master’s seemingly sudden loss of response to that name was only raising their height of concern. To their knowledge the Supreme Leader’s strongest mental connection was with their master, who now was seeming as though he had broken that tie. 

“…I have no Supreme Leader.”

The room fell hauntingly silent with only the beeping of the monitor filling the room. Even in a comatose state their master would surely remember the Supreme Leader out of everyone. The defiant statement of standing alone without a mentor or leader was surely out of character for their master. 

“Master Ren, you do answer to Supreme Leader, as we, the Knights of Ren, answer to you.”

Looking around to all of the dark figures Kylo tried focusing as hard as he possibly could to remember anything about them. A name, a piece of clothing, a voice, anything. The more he looked at them the less he seemed capable of remembering who they were. They were so adiment that he knew who they were that it was making him furious that he couldn’t recall anything about them. Either they weer playing him for a fool or he was losing it. 

“I am no Master…nor do I answer to this Supreme Leader. When will I recover?”

The Knights all looked to each other, not knowing where to go from this point. If he truly had forgotten who they were and who he was, would it truly be worth it to put so much effort into him? Supreme Leader would surely see this as nothing but a nuissance and inconvience to his relentless efforts to overrun the galaxy. If their master had truly broken his mental connection with the Supreme Leader he was beyond their help, and would likely suffer for it. If Kylo Ren the Master of the Knights of Ren couldn’t come back however, how would they possibly be as powerful? He was a giant and necessary muscle that the First Order often flexed in their own favor. The Knights of Ren would also likely fall into a large dispute over who would replace their leader if he was truly unable to. They needed him. One knight decided to finally speak, hoping the more they spoke to him the closer he would be to recovering his memory.

“They estimated a recovery period to be approximately 5 days. You have 4 left Master.”

Turning his face to the ceiling expressionless he simply nodded.

“Thank you. If you wouldn’t mind…I’d like to be alone.”

The Knights all nodded in unison, bowing slightly to Kylo.

“Yes Master”, they all said in a haunting unison.

As they exited the room Kylo watched them all file out, their black garbs billowing out into the halls. Something about the visual seemed familiar, but not the actual physical beings wearing the flowing garments.   
Bringing his eyes to the ceiling again he let his mind wander as the heart monitor continued to beep. How had he gotten into an accident so severe that he ended up here? Why were those the figures the only ones present for him? Had he been kidnapped by them? Turning his head to the side slowly he focused his eyes on the sight of his reflection in one of the black screens. He didn’t even remember looking like this. His hair was the same, the scattered beauty marks were all in the same place, his deep eyes were the same color, his lips still plump and naturally pink, but his acutal facial features seemed, different. More mature. They were also broken by a scar across his face. Running a few fingers over the scar he observed his reflection. The last he remembered he was leaving practice in the temple, frustrated with himself, stomping back to his temporary living quarters. What had possibly happened to him that he would be out long enough to grow into a man and gain this hideous scar? Turning his head back to face the ceiling, releasing a wavering sigh through his flaring nostrils, he pushed his lips into a tight line.

“What has happened to me? …Force…what happened to me?”


End file.
